Seeking Calm? Reset Your Day in under 5 Minutes

I have a pretty clear fantasy of my ideal morning, as experienced by my tranquil alter ego. Calm Olivia wakes up at 6 AM, refreshed after a full night’s rest, kisses her husband on the cheek, smiles beatifically as she peeks in on her sweetly sleeping children, drinks a glass of crystal clear water with a slice of organic lemon, glides over to her yoga mat (next to the regularly-watered ficus), flows through some sun salutations, and finally sits comfortably on a cushion for 20 minutes of deep breathing and meditation.

The perfect beginning to a wonderfully calm day being a thoughtful partner and peaceful parent.

Screeeeech! (You know, that movie sound that signals your rude awakening to reality.)

Mornings for Real Olivia are more of a rush of kid cuddles, half-eaten breakfasts, lost socks, reading of books, quick trips to Mars in the cardboard box rocket, whining, and peanut-butter-smeared goodbye kisses.

But things keep changing, and “the slog,” as Andrew calls these tired, harried, wonderful early years with our kids, won’t last forever. Someday I’ll get my 20 minutes to meditate.

In the meantime, I’m working on finding oases of calm throughout the day: It could be five minutes of meditation after waking up, a handful of deep breaths in the car right before I pick up whirlwind Max from daycare, or a few lines of journaling to wrap up the day.

Making the time to re-center myself every so often makes a noticeable difference in my ability to deal more graciously with whatever chaos may be coming my way.

So whenever you find yourself in need of some calm, press the pause button and take a few minutes to reset your day. As with most things, the more you practice, the easier and more automatic it becomes.

Techniques for Finding Calm in 5 Minutes

Here are some of the methods that work for me (and are backed by science!):

Breathe

“Take a deep breath” is good advice. Neurons deep in the brainstem help turn those big draws of oxygen into a calmer state of mind. You can probably figure it out on your own, but there are many resources online to guide you, such as this video.

In fact, you don’t even need a full five minutes. All it takes is a few seconds to “stop, drop, and breathe.” That’s probably the most important lesson I took from a fantastic online peaceful parenting course with psychologist Dr. Laura Markham: When you find yourself getting stressed and upset (at your kids or in any situation), stop what you’re doing, drop your agenda, and breathe deeply to let go of tension. This creates enough space for you to choose how you act next instead of being caught up in an automatic, emotionally driven response.

Meditate

These days it seems like the idea of meditation is everywhere. And for good reason: There’s lots of evidence that it’s beneficial for our health and happiness.

There are many types of meditation to choose from – and this list doesn’t even include chocolate meditation! To try a short, calming session, look for some videos or download an app, such as Insight Timer.

Be fully present

Maybe you can’t stop what you’re doing to sit down and meditate. But you can give your full attention to the task at hand – be it washing dishes, cleaning up toys, or fixing a leaking faucet. This kind of “informal contemplative practice” has been shown to increase mindfulness and positive affect.

Declutter your space

Clean up your desk or put away the dishes – a small but significant accomplishment. You’ll have finished something, and there’s less visual clutter to distract your brain. Better yet, gather up a few items to sell, donate, or throw away, and they’ll never clutter up your life again.

 

Declutter your mind

For me, the distraction that comes from my thoughts is usually greater than that from my messes. What helps, at least temporarily: a quick brain dump. Write down all the tasks, questions, and problems you want to complete or solve. Now they’re on paper and off your mind.

For more complex thoughts, journaling is a proven method for managing anxiety and reducing stress.

Stop and smell (and see) the roses

Whether you stay indoors to gaze at a bouquet of flowers or, even better, go outside for a quick walk in the park, surrounding yourself with plants has many health benefits, including increased concentration, calm, and happiness.

Use essential oils

If you don’t have any plant matter nearby, sniff some essential oils, such as lavender, which is well-known for its soothing effects.

Citrus is a great alternative for stress relief.

Pet your pet

Interacting with your pets raises the levels of a bunch of happy hormones and neurotransmitters such as oxytocin, endorphins, dopamine, and serotonin in your body. So grab your animal friend and take a break on the couch, or surrender to the calming effects of fish-watching.

Massage

If you’re lucky, you have a partner nearby who will give you a quick massage, but there are effective techniques you can use on yourself to relieve tension and pain.

 

Smile

Whether you’re in the mood to or not, smiling can help you deal with stress.

There’s a chance that just seeing a smile helps ease anxiety, so if you just can’t muster your own –there’s an app for that (and you’ll be helping out science by participating in a research study).

Listen to music

Music can help with those smiles. You know what you like best. Put it on! Relax or dance.

Sleep 

Ah, sleep. It’s so hard to ever get enough, but short naps can help tide us over. Even five minutes in the middle of the day feel good, though a 10-minute power nap is ideal.

Be grateful

Appreciating all that’s good in your life can really put things in perspective and help you distance yourself from what stresses you in the moment. I like it as a way to reflect on and close my day.

Give calm a try and comment below to let me know how it goes! What else do you do to relax when you have just a few minutes?

Photos by: Skitterphoto/CC0, Pixaby/CC0, Burst/CC0, Mareefe/CC0, kovyrina/CC0